This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
