he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
