I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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