I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
