Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
