Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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