Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
