Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
whose parrot is this?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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