your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
