You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
