Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
people are starting to question the shark bite story
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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