Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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