it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
