ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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