he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
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