I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
