Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
