You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
