Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
