my vag is so smooth its legendary
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
