Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
how does that bad decision feel?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
