OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
