Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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