its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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