If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
