Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
love makes seman taste better
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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