shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
