My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
