Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
