yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
