wakey wakey hands off snakey
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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