god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
