Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
