the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
