I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
