Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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