my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
