she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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