What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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