found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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