A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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