New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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