So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
