how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
