peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You need Xanax blowdarts
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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