pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
