But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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