i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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