im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
