Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Randomize
