well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
